


i do not understand that reference

by acceptnosubstitutes



Category: Falling Skies
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-01
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-07 00:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1878339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acceptnosubstitutes/pseuds/acceptnosubstitutes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every Volm field agent carries a personal, portable field database capable of collecting information and accessing a vast matrix of archived files. Each agent is to consult their personal, portable field databases in the event of confusion regarding confusing idioms of a foreign alien origin.</p><p>or "What if the Volm took common human expressions literally because they are aliens?"</p><p>inspired by "Chief" Cochise</p>
            </blockquote>





	i do not understand that reference

Volm personal portable field database, activated.

Chapter 1, What to Do When Your Human Companion Is Injured.

Subsection, Confusing Idioms, part 1.

“I’m going to die.”

Please be aware this particular human expression should not always be taken literally.

Humans use this phrase in a plethora of circumstances including, but not limited to: changes in the weather particularly ascending degrees, when it begins to downpour in the middle of a prolonged march, during the early hour mornings accompanied with rhythmic thumping against the walls and requests from neighbors to “shut the *expletive censored* up,” as well as in the case of actual threat of expiring.

Nevertheless, it is important to be prepared in the case of actual emergency.

Please make sure your human companion is not bleeding, nursing a bullet wound, violently sick, or in another state of medical distress before chuckling at said human, in order to show that you too, understand they are not really about to die.

-

Volm personal portable field database, activated.

Chapter 9, subsection 136, Confusing Human Idioms Relating to Military Operations.

“Back to the drawing-board.”

Be advised there is not, in fact, an actual physical representation of a “drawing-board” in this particular instance.

As Volm resources are limited and are restricted to a need assessed spectrum, no longer will any Volm patrols requesting departure in order to search for a proper drawing-board will be recognized.

-

Volm personal portable field database, activated.

Chapter 5, subsection 7, Odd Human Mating Idioms.

“The apple of one’s eye.”

Please note that the observation on part of Volm field agents that no deciduous fruits of any kind can be discerned to reside in the human ocular orifices is not the proper response to interrupting a human couple’s private evening.

It is also considered disrespectful to place one’s face within five feet of a human’s face, in order to ascertain this logical statement, without the human’s consent.

-

Volm personal field database, activated.

Chapter 9, What To Do When You Have Caused A Human Unintended Injury Because of Misinterpreted Idioms, part 7.

“Rub salt in a wound.”

It is of paramount importance no Volm causes further strain to the already tenuous balance of peace between Volm-kind and humanity.

Therefore, medical decisions of any nature regarding human physiology should be left to the highest qualified human present.

In the case of no such human availability, any human present automatically has privilege over any Volm when it comes to the needs of the human body, spirit, and/or mind.

-

Volm personal field database, activated.

Chapter 18, Human Idioms In Need of Future Study.

“One has let the cat out of the bag.”

The designated classification, felis catus, hereby referred to as simply cat, usually refers to a small, usually furry, domesticated, and carnivorous mammal.

Before the Eshpheni arrived at the planet humanity calls home, these mammals were popularly kept indoors. Now they roam the planet at large, mostly feral, and are the bane of small rodent populations everywhere.

It is not entirely clear why such a fearsome predator would be contained within a bag of any material in the first place.

Nor has a house cat actually been encountered in the wild by Volm field agents, regardless of humanity’s obvious fondness of the mammals, though many field agents report audio recordings of terrifying yowling and hissing in many areas of the planet.

It is advisable to interact, if it cannot be avoided, with this mammal with the utmost of caution.

Provided their existence ever truly be confirmed.

-

Volm personal field database, activated.

Chapter 456, Rules Concerning Marriage Between One (or More) Volm and One (or More) Foreign Alien Species.

Human Mating Idiom 5647: “May I have your hand.”

It is the responsibility of every Volm field agent to consult their personal field database in reference to human expressions regarding consensual commitments between multiple parties.

The officer of inter-species marriage licensing has recently resigned on account of, roughly, a recent 500% upsurge of accidental marriage requests by an unwitting Volm to a human.

As we are still searching for a replacement willing to attempt the extensive backlog of requests left behind in the officer’s absence, effective immediately until further notice, all marriage requests, regardless of circumstances, will be denied.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone and anyone should totally contribute to this. Yes. Do the thing. You know you want to.


End file.
